Forgiveness

Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.

Kay sarap sariwain ang malayang
Kahapon, ang hirap isipin
Kay layo ng noon…

Tama ka nga
Walang saysay kung itutuloy pa
Hayaan na natin ang bukas

Ngunit sa gabing ito
Hawakan ang aking kamay
Muling sundan ang mga unang yapak
Ng ating pagmamahalan

Tama ka nga
Walang saysay kung ibabalik pa
Hayaan na natin ang bukas

Minsan nagtatanong kung saan
Kailan, paano nagsimula
Ang katapusang mahirap takasan
Pero wag na, ibato mo na lang sa ulan

Tama ka nga
Walang saysay kung ibabalik pa

Hayaan na natin
Hayaan na natin
Hayaan na natin ang bukas

Kay sarap sariwain ang malayang
Kahapon, ang hirap isipin
Kay layo ng noon…

++from my sickness

What if

what if i told you im starting to care?
what if i told you im here to stay?
what if i held you like i never do?
what if you found out i cant fall for you?
what if i told you im halfway there…
almost there…
hanging…just waiting…

All the best

Tell you what,
if I were given a chance
to take anything from you
without being noticed…
I would take all the pains in your heart
for I cant bear to see my angel falling
when in fact,
you deserve all the best
in this world…

Kasama ka ba sa Henerasyo ko?

originally posted on Wednesday, January 21, 2004

“Ito ang mga huling taon ng dekada ‘80 at ang mga unang taon ng dekada ‘90. Ito ang panahong uso pa ang makiuso. Kung ginagaya mo ang style ng mga artista, hindi ka tatawaging jologs. Ito ang panahong tapos na ang martial law, pero malayo pa ang new millennium. Hindi pa high-tech pero di naman old fashioned. Saktong-sakto lang!

Ito ang panahon natin. Pero pano mo malalaman kung kabilang ka sa henerasyong ito? Narito ang listahan na makapagpapatunay if you’re one of us. R U?

1. Paborito mong panoorin ang Shaider, Bio-man, Maskman, Mask Rider Black, Machine Man at kung ano-anong TV sitcom ng Japan na isinalin sa Tagalog. Break muna sa mga laro kapag alas singko na ng hapon tuwing Sabado dahil panahon na para sa superhero marathon.

2. Alam mo ang jingle ng Nano-Nano. (isang kending lasangchampoy)

3. Nanood ka ng Takeshi’s Castle at naniwala kang si Anjo Yllana talaga si Takeshi at si Smokey Manaloto ang kanyang alalay. (Pinagiisipan mo – pano sila lumalaban sa final challenge na parang nakasakay sila sa isang bumpcar at nagbabarilan sila gamit ang water gun gayong sa Japan ginagawa yun eh taga Pilipinas sila?)

4. Alam mo ang pa-contest ng Kool 106 na uulit-ulitin mong bigkasin ang “Kool 106, Kool 106″ hanggang maubusan ka ng hininga.

5. Naglaro ka ng Shake-Shake Shampoo, Monkey-Monkey-Annabelle, prikidam 123, Langit-Lupa-Impyerno, Syato, Luksong-Tinik, Luksong-Baka, 10-20 at kung ano-ano pang larong nakakapagod.

6. Pumunta ang mga tag! a- MILO sa skul niyo at namigay sila ng samples na nakalagay sa plastic cup na kasing laki nung sa maliit na ice cream. (at nagtaka ka, bakit hindi ganito ang lasa ng MILO kapag tinitimpla ko sa bahay namin?)

7. May malaking away ang mga METAL (mga punks na naka itim) at mga HIPHOP (mga taong naka maluwang na puruntong na kahit Makita na ang dalawang bundok.) Nag-aabangan sa mall na may dalang baseball bat at kung anu-ano pang mga sandata. Sikat ang kasabihang “PUNKS NOT DEAD!” pero kung gusto mong mag play safe, pwede mong tawagin ang sarili mong HIPTAL.

8. Alam mo ang universal uwian song na “Uwian na!” na kinakanta sa tono na parang doon sa kinakasal.

9. Nagpauto ka sa Batibot pero hindi sa ATBP.

10. Nakipag-away ka para makapaglaro ng brick game. (hi-tech na yun noon)

11. Ang “text” noon ay mga 1″x1.5″ na karton na may mga drawing ng pelikulang pinoy. (at may dialog pa!)

12. Dalawa lang ang todong sumikat na wresler, si Hulk Hogan at si Ultimate Warrior. Naniwala ka rin na namatay si Ultimate Warrior nang buhatin niya si Andre d’ Giant dahil pumutok ang mga ugat niya sa muscle.

13. Nagsayaw ka ng running man at kung anu-anong dance steps na nakapagpamukha sa’yong tanga sa saliw na kantang Ice Ice Baby, Wiggle It, Pray at Can’t Touch This.

14. Hindi ka gaanong mahilig sa That’s Entertainment at pinapanood mo lang ito tuwing Sabado kung saan nagpapagandahan ng production numbers ang Monday hanggang Friday group. (at badtrip ka sa Wednesday group dahil pinakabaduy lagi ang performance nila!)

15. Napaligaya ka ng maraming pinoy bands tulad ng Yano, Rivermaya, Grin Department, Tropical Depression, The Teeth, The Youth, After Image, Orient Pearl, The Dawn, Alamid, Wolfgang, at ang sikat na sikat na Eraserheads. (at aminin mong nakinig ka ng Siakol!)

16. Kilala mo ang Smokey Mountain, (first and second generation)

17. Hindi pa uso noon ang sapatos na may gulong. Noon, astig ka kapag umiilaw ang swelas ng sapatos mo tuwing ia-apak mo ito. Tinawag rin itong “Mighty Kid”

18. Kung lalaki ka, sikat na sikat sa’yo ang mga larong text, jolens, dampa (mga unang anyo ng pustahan), saranggola at ang dakilang manika niyo ay si GI-JOE with alipores.

19. Kung babae ka naman, ang mga laro mo with you’re girlfriends ay luto-lutuan, bahay-bahayan, doktor-doktoran, at kung anu-ano pang pagkukunwari . ang dakilang manika mo ay si Barbie. (Sikat ka kung meron kang bahay, kotse at kabaong ni Barbie.)

20. Naniwala kang original ang isang cap kapag may walong tahi sa visor nito.

21. Swerte ka kapag panghapon ka dahil masusubaybayan mo ang mga kapanapanabik na kaganapan sa mga paborito mong cartoon shows tuwing umaga tulad ng Cedie, Sarah, at Dog of Landers a.k.a. Nelo. (Hindi ka ba nagtataka na sa lahat ng mga bida sa cartoons na ito, si Nelo lang ang di yumaman at namatay pa ng maaga)

22. Alam mo ang ibig sabihin ng “TIME FIRST!”

Bakit kaya ganon? Kahit sang lupalop ka ng Pilipinas naroon, eh nakaka-relate ka sa mga pinagsasasabi ko. Siguro’y dahil wala pang cable at kakaunti lang ang pagpipiliang channels kaya parepareho tayo ng pinapanood. Maaaring wala pang playstation kaya kung anu-ano na lang ang naiimbentong laro na pwedeng gawin sa kalsada o sa isang bakanteng lote. Pero kung ano man ang dahilan sa pagkaparepareho natin ng karanasan, masaya na rin akong naging bata ako sa panahong ito. Masarap alalahanin at balik-balikan. Di ba?”

~

Sa email ulit galing ito. Usong uso ang mga ganitong paksa dati. Proud ako na amining kasama ako sa henerasyong ito. Sino nga ba naming di makakalimot kay Mask Rider Black? Masaya na ako dating makapaglaro ng brick game, pakiramdam ko kasi ang astig ko. Yung tipo bang ang galing ko pag ako ang highest score. =) Nakipagiyakan din ako sa drama ng buhay nina Cedie, Sarah, at Dog of Landers a.k.a. Nelo. Hay…

If i knew

originally posted on Thursday, December 18, 2003

If I knew it would be the last time
That I’d see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say “I love you,”
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I’m sure you’ll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there’s always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say “I love you,”
And certainly there’s another chance
to say our “Anything I can do?”

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I’d like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you’re waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you’ll surely regret the day,

That you didn’t take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you’ll always hold them dear

Take time to say “I’m sorry,”
“Please forgive me,” “Thank you,” or “It’s okay.”
And if tomorrow never comes,
you’ll have no regrets about today.

~

May nagemail sa akin nito at siguro dahil pakiramdam ko ay pagsisisihan ko kapag hindi ko naayos ang lahat sa isang tao. Nakipagusap ako sa aking ex, nagkaliwanagan at nagkaayos bago magpasko. Subalit gaya ng aking nabanggit, nagkahiwalay din kami ng landas at masaya na sa aming mga sariling buhay.

Friends in between

Good people deserve good friends: Saturday, December 20, 2003

I have met a good friend. We enjoy each others company so much that it breaks my heart to let the person go. I dunno we should be staying friends for life so that nobody get hurts. We both know that there’s a special bond between us but we are too afraid to know what is it. We are contented on what we are right now.

Now I understand why things have to be this way. Im just too self-centered that I haven’t noticed what I am doing. I’m very selfish…

Don’t be too nice
I might enjoy it.
Don’t be always around
I might miss you badly.
Don’t be sweet to me
I might be sweet too.
Dont care for me too much
I might fall in love to you..

~

Madami akong kaibigan noon at ngayon. Ang pagkakaiba nga lang ngayon ay alam ko na kung saan ang aking dapat kalagyan. Dito lang sa tabi-tabi =)

Who comes first to your mind?

originally posted on Wednesday, December 17, 2003

There was this guy who loved two gals at the same time but he didn’t know which one he loved more. Someone taught him. Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly: “When you are happy, which gal would you want to share your happiness with?” The one you think of is someone you love.

Ask yourself another question and answer it honestly: “When you are sad, which gal you want to share your burden with?” The one you think of is also someone you love.

If you think of the same gal when you are happy & sad, that’s the most perfect. But if you don’t think of the same gal, I would advise you to choose the one you are willing to share your sadness with. In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people whom you can share your happiness with, not necessarily your lover.

If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone. In sadness, however, there are not many people willing to share your burden with you. If you are willing to tell someone your happiness, I am sure that person has got to be someone close & an understanding person to you.

But it shouldn’t stop there. If that person only thinks of you when she is happy, but looks for someone else when she is sad, this lover is too unstable, she doesn’t treat you as someone she can spend the rest of her life with.

Of course, I will be very happy if I am the first person to share her happiness. But, if she is sad, I will be too willing to stay by her side & ease her pain. Only then, will I believe that I hold a very important position in her heart.

If you are sad, who comes to your mind first?

Friendship is a strange thing. We find ourselves telling each other the deepest details of our lives … things we don’t even share with the families who raised us. But what is a friend? A confidant? A shoulder to cry on? An ear to listen? A heart to feel? A friend is all these … and more. No matter where we met, no matter how long we’ve been together … I call you friend. A word so small, yet so large in feeling, a word filled with emotion, a word overflowing with love. Truly great things come in small packages. Once the package of friendship has been opened, it can never be closed. It is a constant book always waiting … waiting to be read…and enjoyed. We may have our disagreements … we may have our appointments….We may argue … we may have concern for one another…friendship is a unique bond that lasts through all tribulations. A part of each of us goes into our friendships … our humor … our experiences ..our tears.

Who comes first to your mind?

Baliktanaw

Goodbye… Thursday, November 20, 2003

Sabi na nga ba…dito rin tayo patungo. Bakit ang sakit? Di ba na-expect ko na ganito na mangyayari? Ang tanga ko. Bakit parang kasalanan ko pa? Siguro nga it’s my fault kasi I’m so stupid!

BF ko: Thursday, November 13, 2003
Sa wakas, may lakas na ako ng loob na aminin yung tungkol sa boyfriend ko after a long time of hiding…weird. Buti na lang di nya alam na may blog akong ganito. Hmmm naaawa na nga ako sa mga sacrifices nya for me and sa kaka-asar sa kanya ng mga friends nya na inutil sya. Lalo na pag nakikita ng mga kabarkada nya na kasama ko yung bespren ko….hahaha…

++hide and seek days are over.
++we need to be happy after all the pains…

~
Nabasa ko ito sa aking lumang blog at naalala ko sya. Akala ko ilusyon lang ang lahat, totoo pala. Siguro alam kong totoo yun dati subalit iba ang aking pinaniwalaan. Masaya ako sa aking pagkakatanda sa panahong ito. Pakiramdam ko ay kaya kong gawin kahit ano. Subalit di nagtagal ang aming pagsasama. Sabi nga nila: “Pag siya talaga, ano mang mangyari ay siya pa rin.”

Kasi nga hindi pala siya yun. Kasi nga wag na nating ipilit ang hindi talaga…

Baliktanaw lang ito, masaya na ako ngayon.

Bagong Tahanan

Kung saan saan na ako napunta at kung saan saan blogs na rin ako nagpost. Gusto kong magsulat ng magsulat at nais ko ito sa wikang tagalong. Naalala ko ang kablog kong si Nei at masaya pa ang buhay noon dahil simple lang kaming mga nagbloblog. Naiintindihan naming ang kung anu-anong emosyon na meron kami. Hindi ganun kakomplikado. Simple lang ang buhay dati kahit marami kaming problema.

Nagpasya akong lumipat ng site kasi gusto kong magsulat ng MALAYA.

Ang mga susunod na mga posts na may mga ibang petsa ay galing sa aking lumang blog na tatanggalin ko na dahil sa mga pribadong pangyayari. Sabi nga ng isang kakilala ko, mahirap magpanggap na masaya…

Hindi ito Emo blog. Pramis. Ito’y koleksyon ng mga samu’t saring damdamin na nais kong ibahagi sa inyo.

Sana’y may matutunan tayong lahat.